I don’t know about you, but I realize that every stage of my life (we’ll just say every 10 years)  I see life so very differently.

 

What I thought life is or was about, what I expected out of life and my dreams of what I wanted it to look like in the future…it has all changed over time.

 

Today, my oldest daughter turns 43, we are 20 years apart.  Thinking back over my life of be her mother, to being a grandma to her daughter and embracing her growth and accomplishments, I’m proud of her.   Sometimes, I wonder where the time went and other times, I feel old.   I am trying to just relax and go with the flow.   To those that say, age is just a number, you are so right but with age those numbers tell a story…a story of your life that should really be embraced. 

 

When I was 10 or even 40 did, I see what my life would look like at the age of 63.  I always knew that I wanted to be a mother and a wife.  My parents represented what a healthy loving marriage and parenthood should look like.  I tried the marriage thing and I choose to do it with the wrong person.  I have 2 biological daughters, my first by my high school boyfriend and my 2^nd by my ex-husband.  My children have never been a regret in my life. 

 

I have been an entrepreneur with a freelance flower business, coffee house and artist support business.  My daddy told me when I was a young adult that I had a hard time working for other people because I would always see what they should be doing to more effective with their staff and responsibilities of the job.   Here I am grateful to have a job I like, but waking up every morning saying, “I wish I could retire.”   And at times, I really do wish that I could retire and then other times I know it is good for me to have a job to get up and go out of the home to do.

 

If I would have to single out a regret in my life, it would be that I did not pay into social security as a small business owner…now, I do not have as much to pull from when it is retirement age (and that is just around the corner.)  I honestly need to work until I am 70 to get anything of any significance and still it won’t be enough to survive off of.

 

When I turned 50, that was a good year and wonderful birthday.  I had a big open mic birthday party at The Woodshed and so many artists came out to celebrate with me.  I was big into being Lady Flava and was known globally as a supporter of Indie Artists.   I know saw that coming either…but it has been a time in my life that fueled my soul and passion was developed through experiencing creative soulz.

 

I moved to Vegas thinking that I would be able to step up my support for artist down there, but that never happened, and I felt my soul just die…so I came back home 6 years later, and life is breathing into my spirt and I am feeling a sense of peace that possible I have never felt before.

 

I started to explore different home base businesses and becoming a product review before I returned to Seattle, and I do think that this Fall I will revisit this and see if I find something that I feel I would want to commit to.  I like the idea of establishing a home base business that my family would want to get involved in and carry on if it if fun and lucrative.

Age:

• 10yr- Playing with my friends and had a great home life.
• 20yr- A new mother and single.  Trying to figure out life with a newborn.  Grateful for my family and friends with the wonderful support that showed.
• 30yr- Newly divorced and working but trying to find a better job to take care of my children.
• 40yr- My mother had just passed and trying to be there for my father as he was always there for me and now my girls.
• 50yr- Established as Lady Flava | The Indie Artist Cheerleader and Global Radio Show Host
• 56yr- My father passed, and I got double knee replacement.
• 57yr- I stepped out on faith and moved to Vegas.
• 60yr- Miserable in Vegas and trying to survive a life that I was not happy with
• 62yr- Became a Registered Music and Entertainment Press Blogger.
• 63yr- I returned to Seattle and have found a real sense of peace.  Maybe I had to leave to then come back to appreciate the life I have in Seattle, my home.

 

Did I see my life playing out this way,  I cannot say that I did.  But to be honest, I have always felt like a free spirit in some ways that I don’t like being tied down to things that just become totally comfortable and I creating a lifestyle and space that fits my needs and my personality.   My life is far from perfect, but I sure do appreciate it right now.  It feels really good to be me.  I have accomplished a variety of things throughout my life, even though I never went to college.  I have raised children, been a business owner, headed departments and support a variety of people throughout my life from taking in teenagers into my home, care for my grandmother, and parents in their last days, cared for elders in their homes and built wonderful relationships with medical professionals before leaving Vegas.   At the age of 63, I am back working in the medical area in a different and less stressful capacity…and just feeling my way around what direction that I want to go as Lady Flava in support of creative soulz.  I will continue to do blogs, it’s a great way to share the subjects that pop into my mind out of no where and I appreciate my readers from around the world.

I am sure as time goes by, I will have more to add to this that will not be planned out. 

What does your life look like and has it played out as planned or has life surprised you in good or bad ways?

 

One thing I have really come to understand as I age, so much of the challenges I have faced in life, I must own up to my part in it…I may have made a bad decision, accept things that I shouldn’t have or instigated the problem due to my perception in the moment. I take more time in not reacting to things now, I am learning what is worth a response or what is worth just simple silence. I have a lot of conversations with myself and ask myself why something has disturbed my spirit and how significant is it.

LadyFlava of LadyFlavaNews

Sharing My Thoughts On My Aging Process