If a person is allowed to behave poorly and it’s never addressed, excuses are made for them, or it’s simply accepted and they continue down the road of unhealthy entitlement…who’s fault is it that they are this way if it’s never addressed? (2021)

I believe for many of us, will accept or tolerate poor behavior from people in our lives in a variety of ways. From family, friends, and colleagues and or associates. But then there are those that we cut off quickly, without a thought.

Why do we accept behavior that is not appropriate nor should be acceptable treatment or display of actions towards you? I know we have all been there.

Have you ever made excuses for the why?  I know that I have and then have found myself upset and stressed more often than not.

Once upon a time I was married to an abusive alcoholic, who was my best friend before we got together as a couple and never treated me poorly when we were just friends.  As I got to know him and his family background, and life circumstances I found myself making excuses for the crazy making.  Until one day I finally said that I could no longer live that way and did not want to expose my children to this madness in our home any longer, I ended it with no emotions.

I have made excuse for poor behavior of my children, family, friends, co-workers and more, while I continued to tolerate it with unhappiness.  I think that I have even made excuses for myself when I was not acting in a way that was not appropriate.  Can you relate?

I am one that will speak up and I generally will find a kind way (in my opinion) to address my concerns, and it so strange that I am met with such a shock look or disbelief that I had the nerve…

I have experienced addressing my concerns of disrespect or unwarranted treatment where I have in turned been called Weak, Bougie and other derogatory names.  I will admit that I found myself, even with these people in making excuses for their why.  The other thing about these people is that, in their world this type of treatment is the norm and they do not see it the way that I do.  The other thing is, they seem to be able to present themselves in a kind, loving and fun way in public, but it is the treatment out of sight of others or behind closed doors.  I have been told, “well, people love me and think I am so nice.”  Yes, I made excuses.

I strongly believe that we should have the ability to safely address our concerns about treatment that we do not find favorable of ourselves, loved ones, community and more…we should be able to address it, and be respect with some understanding that their behavior has had a negative affect and that they need to adjust their behavior.

In being involved in the Arts and Entertainment Industry I have witnessed poor behavior, such as people not attending rehearsals and showing up to gigs late, along with inappropriate drinking during a gig or drug use.  I have witnessed people making commitments to paying people to participate in a show and then turn around and not get paid or to not be paid the agreed upon amount.  I feel like this is inappropriate treatment that should not be tolerated, but because people are needing to have people involved or that they need to make some kind of money or wanted to be on stage performing…they tolerate the disappointment and disrespect.

If someone is allowed to continuously get away with presenting poor behavior, they will think that it is okay.  And the cycle will continue if not only with us but with other people.

 

Share your thoughts on this subject and let’s talk about a solution.

 

LadyFlava of LadyFlavanews

Sharing My Thoughts