✨ If I Could Do It Over Again… But Maybe I Was Just Doing My Best

Sometimes, long after the dust settles, the mind replays what happened —

What was said.

What wasn’t.

What could’ve gone differently.

Lately, I’ve found myself quietly reflecting on a situation that left me emotionally shaken.

I wish I could say I handled everything the way I wanted to.

I didn’t.

If I could do it over again…

I would have paused long enough to recognize that someone’s lack of follow-through might’ve been coming from something deeper — not laziness, not defiance, but something unseen. I would have stayed out of other people’s tension — learning that not all personality clashes require my presence, my voice, or my peace. I would have held my tongue in that moment when emotions were high — not because I was wrong, but because I now understand the cost of being misunderstood.

And yet… there’s one thing I don’t regret.

I spoke about someone I once found difficult, but with respect and openness.

I was trying to understand them better.

But somehow, that honest moment got twisted — and I was left carrying a weight that wasn’t mine.

🌿 Looking Back With Softer Eyes

The truth is, I was tired.

Not just physically — but emotionally, energetically, and spiritually tired.

I had been doing too much for too long, and still trying to keep the peace, carry the load, and care for others.

And when you’re that tired, clarity gets clouded.

You react instead of respond.

You carry more than you should.

You speak when you should breathe.

You try to fix what was never yours to fix.

So yes… if I could do it over again, I’d do it differently.

But I didn’t know then what I know now.

And that version of me?

She was doing the best she could with what she had in that moment.

💛 What I Know Today

Growth doesn’t always look graceful.

Sometimes it looks like unraveling.

Sometimes it looks like hindsight.

But if it leads to wisdom — to softer eyes and steadier steps — it’s still growth.

So I release the guilt.

I keep the lesson.

And I offer myself the same grace I’ve always given others.

Because doing your best doesn’t mean doing it perfectly.

It just means showing up with heart — even when your heart is hurting.

And that’s what I did.

Lady Flava aka Susan K

Processing My Life| Sharing My Thoughts