“When the Race Card Is Misused: A Hard Truth from Someone Who Has Lived It”

By Susan “Lady Flava” Koshi

There’s a topic that has been sitting in my spirit for quite some time.

A topic that is layered, painful, and—for many—taboo.

But I believe that part of healing is being willing to talk about all of it, even the parts that make people uncomfortable.

Today, I want to speak about something I’ve personally witnessed, something that has wounded me deeply, and something that I believe needs to be named:

What happens when people misuse the race card.

🖤 Racism is Real. Let’s Be Clear About That First.

My children have experienced racial profiling.

So have other family members, friends, and the artists I’ve worked with over the years.

I’ve lived through it.

I’ve stood beside people in pain because of it.

And I’ve spent much of my life defending people who didn’t feel they had a voice in the room.

So let me say this plainly:

Racism is real. It is harmful. It wounds the soul.

But it’s because I know this so deeply that I must also speak this truth:

When people invoke racism inappropriately—when they use it to deflect from bad behavior or avoid accountability—they are not only hurting others… they are diluting the reality of racism itself.

And that, too, is a form of harm.

🌀 I’ve Been On the Receiving End of That Harm

In my current workplace, I was accused of being racially inappropriate.

The full story wasn’t told. My side was never truly heard.

I was asked to sign a document acknowledging actions I don’t agree with—actions that don’t align with my intentions, character, or truth.

At the core of it?

Someone used the “race card” against me as a form of manipulation.

And it worked.

Those in leadership may have acted to protect the hospital rather than seeking full truth.

But in doing so, they didn’t protect me—or the truth of what actually happened.

🏙️ This Isn’t New for Me—Vegas Was Worse

During my time working in Las Vegas, I faced repeated attacks that were racially charged—but in reverse.

Because I calmly set boundaries or asked to be treated with respect, I was labeled:

“White Girl” “Weak White Girl” “Church Girl” “Sensitive” “Emotional” Told I was raised with “Uncle Tom Blacks” or “White Blacks”

These weren’t playful jabs.

They were attempts to silence me. To shame me. To suggest that I didn’t belong.

All because I held people accountable and chose not to argue or match aggression with aggression.

That’s not okay.

And we need to talk about this, too.

💬 Let’s Talk About What Gossip Isn’t

In my recent situation, I was accused of “gossiping.”

But sharing concerns with leadership—especially when someone is stirring conflict or behaving unethically—is not gossip. It’s communication. It’s accountability.

The very person who brought the complaint against me was involved in the same conversations she later used against me.

That is manipulation, plain and simple.

And it makes real, respectful dialogue that much harder for the rest of us.

🌊 So Why Am I Speaking Out Now?

Because if I stay silent, I’m complicit.

And I won’t let four people—yes, four—have more power over my spirit than the hundreds of others who treat me with kindness and respect every single day.

Because I’ve seen real racism.

And I’ve also seen false claims weaponized to destroy trust.

Both are dangerous.

And both deserve to be called out.

🧭 Here’s What I Know For Sure

I believe in truth.

I believe in honoring every culture and calling out injustice when I see it.

But I also believe in fairness, accountability, and integrity.

This isn’t about denying racism exists.

This is about protecting its truth from being used as a smokescreen for poor behavior.

Because when we misuse the race card, we hurt those who need it most.

And I can’t stay silent about that.

🌻 Final Thoughts

Real racism breaks hearts and lives.

False claims break trust and truth.

We must hold both realities with care, if we’re going to heal anything.

My intention is not to accuse.

It is to awaken.

I speak not from bitterness, but from clarity.

Not from blame, but from a deep desire to see truth honored again—on all sides.

Let us never confuse accountability with oppression.

Let us never weaponize identity to escape growth.

Let us be brave enough to have hard conversations, so that real healing can begin.

This was not an easy blog for me to write or share publicly.

It required deep reflection, emotional courage, and a willingness to speak truthfully about a topic that is often uncomfortable and misunderstood. I know how sensitive conversations around race and accountability can be—but I also believe silence only allows confusion and misuse to grow.

I share my story not to hurt anyone, but to offer clarity, start conversations, and stand in my truth with dignity.

Susan K aka Lady Flava

Simply Flava Sharing My Thoughts