What My Elders Taught Me About Showing Up

I was blessed to have wonderful adult role models in my life. They truly set the standards for how to present myself to those outside my home. My parents, extended family, church elders, and even the community members around me—they all shaped my understanding of what it means to show up with integrity, kindness, and pride.

Being early was being prompt. We were taught to arrive before our shift, before church started, before the bus came. Tardiness wasn’t just disrespectful—it was unthinkable. And so, being early became my rhythm. It still is.

We were taught to do things right. If you didn’t understand something, you asked. You didn’t guess. You didn’t cut corners. You learned it, practiced it, and did it with care. You took pride in your work—not just for a paycheck, but because your name was attached to it.

We looked people in the eye. We responded with respect, even when we disagreed. And we were told that telling the truth didn’t mean being rude—it meant being honest with compassion.

I loved the wisdom of my elders. I sought their advice regularly. I trusted their perspective. I knew they had walked the road I was starting on, and I wanted to learn from their steps.

But here I am now—the elder. And what I’m noticing breaks my heart.

So many young people today don’t value their elders. Instead, they dismiss us. We are told that our thinking is wrong, outdated, even harmful. There’s little room for intergenerational exchange. The very wisdom we worked so hard to earn is overlooked as irrelevant.

I know times have changed. I’m not asking for the world to stay the same. But I am asking—where do young people learn their work ethic? Their professionalism? Their pride in how they show up?

Because the truth is, much of it isn’t being taught. And I can see it in the way some young folks move through their day, unaware of the cracks they’re leaving behind.

And yet, I hold space for grace. I know not everyone had the kind of upbringing I did. I know some weren’t taught, weren’t modeled, weren’t mentored. That’s not their fault.

But I hope they begin to ask. I hope they start looking around for the elders still standing in the room. Because we’re here. We still have so much to give.

I was raised in a different time—but my values aren’t expired. They’re deeply rooted.

And I’ll keep showing up, just like my elders taught me to.

Because that’s what legacy looks like.

— Susan K aka Lady Flava