Saturday Real Talk

You’re Making Me Feel Human

I heard a story last night about a man walking down the street when, all of a sudden, a woman came up beside him and matched his stride.

They walked for a little while in silence. Then he said hello, and she responded. He asked how she was doing. Her answer was more of an “I’m surviving” kind of response.

So he asked, “Are you hungry?”

She said yes, and he decided to share a meal with her.

The first place they tried was a neighborhood barbecue restaurant, but the wait was over an hour. So they walked a little farther to another place with a variety of food options and long, open tables where people sat together.

He let her order whatever she wanted, and she ordered herself a nice meal to enjoy. Shortly after they sat down, another person sat right next to them.

The woman began sharing her story with the man who had invited her to eat. She was homeless. She shared how she had ended up there, and then she became quiet. She looked down at nothing in particular.

The man asked if she was okay. In a quiet voice, she said these words:

“You’re making me feel human.”

Wow… what can you say to that?

The man sitting next to them was so moved that he put money toward the meal, too.

This story stayed with me. I knew I had to write about it.

Homelessness is a huge issue across the United States, and especially where I live, in Seattle. People experiencing homelessness are just a block away from where I live.

When I owned my coffeehouse in Lake City in the early 2000s, I could give some of the people experiencing homelessness our end-of-day pastries and a cup of coffee. I also had a few customers living with mental illness. One man, Ed, had schizophrenia. We had rules, and I let Ed come in for coffee regularly. His brothers would buy him coffee cards, and they thanked me for allowing him to have a local place to come.

This story made me think: How many people have stopped feeling seen? How many feel like they’ve faded into the background of life?

How many people feel like they matter to no one and that no one cares?

Now, it can be tricky to know whether it’s safe to interact with someone who is homeless. But there are things you can do—small things that cost very little and might help someone, even for a moment. If it feels safe, look them in the eyes, let them know you see them, and say a silent prayer.

But it’s not only people experiencing homelessness who may feel:

Unseen
Not heard
Devalued
Not understood
Not human

Think about that for a minute.

It could be a family member.
Your child.
A coworker.
Your neighbor.
A team member.

It could be someone who is part of your everyday life.

Before I owned my coffeehouse, I worked at two domestic violence and homeless shelters. After I closed Flava, I worked with homeless and at-risk youth at a transitional housing program.

One thing I realized back then is that some of my clients just wanted you to see them and hear the story they wanted you to hear. Maybe it wasn’t always the truth, but in that moment, it was their story.

Now, let’s bring it to the last nine years in the medical field. Do you know how many people deal with medical problems on their own? They arrive at a rehabilitation hospital with no family to help them—or even to sit by their side.

Fast-forward to today. The number of patients I talk with every day who don’t understand the process—what’s happening, who they need to talk to, where they need to go, or what they need to do next—can be overwhelming. It can be hard for them to keep track of everything in the moment and remember it later.

So when a patient calls and gets me on the other end, if they need a little more attention, patience, or simply a listening ear, I will give it to them. I want every patient to feel heard, respected, and cared for while we’re talking about their health.

I think this statement already lives inside me, but I will carry it with me as a healthcare caregiver:

“You’re making me feel human.”

Think on that for a moment.

How does this fit into your life? I think it’s worth asking yourself.

Do you overlook some people?

Do you feel unseen or invisible?

Do you feel less than human?

Real Talk with Lady Flava 🌻