The Weight We Carry: When Emotional Pain Shows Up in the Body

Introduction

I’ve come to believe that not all pain begins in the body.

Some of it starts in the mind. Some of it gets rooted in our emotions. And sometimes, it shows up in our joints, our backs, or our knees long after the trauma has passed — because we never fully let go of what we carried.

I’ve seen this truth show up in my own life, over and over again.

When My Hip Hurt More Than My Heart Could Say

I was newly divorced, fresh out of an abusive marriage, and trying to find my footing — emotionally, financially, and spiritually. I accepted a job running a flower department more than an hour from home. I was just in my early 30s, still young, still trying to hold myself together while piecing my life back together.

And that’s when it hit me: a horrible pain in my right hip. I was limping, barely able to move, using a cane to get around. I was too young to be moving like that, but there I was — physically broken down, emotionally exhausted, spiritually numb.

Looking back, I know that pain wasn’t just physical. It was everything I was holding inside. It was survival mode pressing against my bones. It was grief, anxiety, and a deep loneliness I didn’t yet have words for.

When My Knee Gave Out in Vegas

Years later, I found myself in Las Vegas, working in a high-stress environment with bosses who were both toxic and disrespectful — racists and gossipers who made the workplace feel unsafe and draining. I was trying to stay strong, to show up with grace and professionalism.

And then, out of nowhere, my knee gave out.

I went to see one of the orthopedic surgeons I used to refer patients to. He ran imaging and tests — and told me there was nothing wrong. My knee replacements were intact. Structurally, everything looked fine.

But I knew the truth: my knee gave out because I was under too much pressure.

I wasn’t physically broken. I was emotionally exhausted. I had been standing tall for too long in an environment that didn’t see or respect me. That pain was stress, plain and simple — the kind that gets stored in the body until it can no longer hold the weight.

Reprogramming the Brain After Trauma

Here’s what I’ve come to believe: when you go to a medical provider, you need to walk in prepared. Know why you’re there. Ask the questions. Speak up for yourself.

But you also need to walk out believing in the plan.

Whether it’s medication, an injection, a therapy referral, or surgery — your belief in the process matters. Because the brain is the engine behind everything we experience. And if your brain is still operating from a place of trauma or hopelessness, it can sabotage your healing.

Sometimes, trauma has ended — but the brain is still stuck in survival mode. It’s looping old fears. It’s predicting pain even when healing is possible. That’s when we need to step in and reprogram it.

Holistic healing isn’t just about herbs and oils — it’s about creating a mindset shift that supports your body’s ability to heal. I believe in pairing Western medicine with intention and holistic support.

If you take meds, explore breathwork or meditation alongside them.
If you get an injection, believe it’s going to help you — or it probably won’t.
If you sign up for surgery, ask all the questions and prepare your mind and spirit to support your body’s recovery.

Because your healing requires all of you — not just your physical self, but your emotional and spiritual self too.

What I Practice Now

These days, I track my pain. I document my sleep, hydration, meals, stress, and movement. I check in with my emotions just as much as my body. I pray. I meditate. I take time to breathe and be still. I advocate for myself at appointments.

Most importantly, I choose to believe that healing is possible.

I no longer walk into a doctor’s office hoping they can fix me. I walk in knowing I am a partner in my own healing. That I have a voice. That I have power. That I’m not just treating a symptom — I’m nurturing my whole self.

Closing Thoughts

Sometimes pain is real, even when scans show nothing.
Sometimes healing is possible, but we have to believe in it to receive it.

I’ve learned that if I ignore what I’m carrying emotionally, my body will eventually carry it for me. And I don’t want that anymore.

So I listen. I reflect. I believe.

Because healing — real, whole healing — begins from the inside out.

With love and healing,
Susan K aka Lady Flava 💛🌻