🌻 When Did Respect for Our Elders Fade?

When I was growing up, respecting your elders was not a choice—it was a responsibility. I understood it was my role to honor those who came before me. Whether it was my parents, grandparents, uncles, aunties, or even adults in the community, I knew how to carry myself differently in their presence.

These days, it feels like the expectation has shifted. Many of today’s young adults—especially Gen Z—have grown up with technology at their fingertips. They are quick to find answers with a click of the mouse or a tap on a phone. And I’ll give them this: they are well-informed and resourceful when it comes to apps, devices, and the digital world. But somewhere along the way, listening to the wisdom of elders lost its place.

The Role of Technology

Technology has created independence. Why ask an elder when Google will answer in seconds? This doesn’t make younger generations “wrong”—it just changes who they trust as authority. But wisdom isn’t always about the facts. Wisdom comes from experience, from stories, and from guidance that can’t be found on a screen.

The Loss of Family Unity

When families no longer gather, the wisdom of elders is often lost. Family reunions, Sunday dinners, holiday visits—these were once the spaces where heritage was shared and stories were passed down.

I see this in my own family. After the passing of the elders on my father’s side, I lost connection with cousins and relatives I barely knew. If it weren’t for my Uncle George, who wrote a book about our family history, much of that heritage would have been forgotten.

As a child, I loved visiting certain relatives just to hear their stories and see how they lived. I especially treasure the memories of my Japanese grandmother, Matsu, and the lessons I soaked up from her presence.

The Blessing of Elders

I was blessed to grow up not only with parents who guided me, but also with their peers—strong adults who I could turn to for advice and support. I sought out my elders because I valued what they had to offer. That guidance shaped me and built my sense of self.

The Modern Disconnect

Now, many families are divided, and technology has become the primary way people connect—or disconnect. Without time together, younger people lose the chance to learn values like strong work ethic, respect for hierarchy, and how to carry yourself differently depending on who you are around.

Back then, it wasn’t called masking—it was called respect. You behaved one way with your friends and another way with your parents or elders. That wasn’t fake—it was wisdom about how to honor relationships.

A Question for Us All

So I ask myself—and I ask you: At what point did we make this shift? When did the voices of elders lose their value?

Perhaps it is time to return to the table. To restore family reunions, community gatherings, and spaces where elders can share their wisdom. To remind the next generation that wisdom is not just found online—it is lived, it is experienced, and it is passed down through those who came before us.

📖 Family Heritage Album

When I write about respecting elders, this isn’t just theory for me—it’s personal. These are the people and the stories that shaped me:

🌸 My Grandma Matsu and me — I was about 12 years old in this photo. Sitting beside her, I felt the weight of her quiet wisdom and the love she carried for her family.

🌸 The Koshi Family, 1928 — My daddy was the second youngest of 12 children (two passed as babies). This portrait holds their strength and sacrifice during a time when life was anything but easy.

🌸 Later generations — My Grandma Matsu surrounded by her children and family, a living testament to resilience, faith, and unity.

These photos remind me why honoring our elders matters so deeply. Their wisdom, their sacrifices, and their love are the roots from which we grow. 🌻

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