Sunday Real Talk

Why Do People Procrastinate?

I’m actually having a great day… but for whatever reason, the topic of procrastination keeps popping into my head.

I did some chores today, and there is a part of me saying that I need to push myself to do a little more.

Am I using my mobility and pain issues as a reason to put things off? I have to be honest—possibly, at times. I don’t push past a certain point before I rest. In my head, I’m telling myself that there is still plenty of day left. I still have time to do more before the day is over.

But I also have to be fair to myself. My limitations are real. Taking a break to care for my body deserves respect, too.

So, where is that line? When am I giving myself a needed rest, and when am I talking myself into doing something later because I just don’t feel like doing it?

That’s what got me thinking.

How many times do we make a simple excuse for not doing something? We know it needs to get done. It pops into our heads, and almost immediately, we start negotiating.

After this show.
After I check my phone.
Tomorrow, when I have more time.

And then tomorrow comes with its own list. Now, what we put off yesterday is sitting right there waiting for us.

I will be honest: I feel good when I accomplish tasks on my mental checklist. When something is finished, I don’t have to keep reminding myself to do it. That little thing is no longer taking up space in my head.

You would think that feeling would be enough to get us moving every time. 😉 But apparently, it isn’t.

Let’s talk about procrastination and whether it is something that plagues your life.

What are we avoiding?

As I read about this topic, something stood out: procrastination can have a lot to do with how a task makes us feel. Anxiety, boredom, frustration, or self-doubt can make putting it off feel like a little escape. We get relief now, even though the unfinished task is still waiting. (apa.org)

That made sense to me.

Maybe you’re putting off a phone call because you don’t want to deal with the conversation. Maybe you haven’t started something because you’re worried you won’t do it well. Or maybe the whole project feels so big that you don’t even know where to begin.

Sometimes, we keep saying we don’t have time when what we really mean is, “I don’t want to deal with how this makes me feel.”

That’s an uncomfortable thing to admit. But how do we change a habit if we’re unwilling to look at it honestly?

Does it have to be perfect?

Princeton’s McGraw Center discusses how fear of failure and perfectionism can contribute to procrastination. When we put so much pressure on the outcome, getting started becomes harder. (mcgraw.princeton.edu)

Have you ever talked yourself out of starting because you couldn’t do it exactly the way you pictured it?

The timing wasn’t right. You needed more information. You wanted everything lined up first.

Preparation has a purpose. But I think we also have to ask ourselves when preparing has become another way of postponing.

At some point, we have to give ourselves permission to be beginners. To make an attempt. To have something we can improve instead of an idea we keep carrying around.

What can we do differently?

One suggestion from Princeton’s McGraw Center is to commit to a small, specific task. Breaking a project into manageable steps and reducing distractions can make starting easier. (mcgraw.princeton.edu, mcgraw.princeton.edu)

I like that because “get everything done” can feel like a lot.

But “fill out the first section of that form” gives us a place to start.

Write the first paragraph.
Put away a few things.
Gather the information for that phone call.

For me, that also means choosing something that fits what my body can manage. I can be honest about avoidance without turning every moment of rest into something to feel guilty about.

And if I say I’ll do something later, maybe I need to give “later” an actual time. Otherwise, it can stay floating around in my head all day.

Let’s be real with ourselves.

I’m writing this while looking at my own habits. I’ve accomplished some things today, and I’m happy about that. I’m also aware of the little conversations I have with myself about what can wait.

I want to understand those conversations better.

Do I need rest? Am I overwhelmed? Do I need help? Or am I avoiding something that I could take one small step toward finishing?

The answer won’t always be the same.

What about you?

What do you keep putting off, and what do you tell yourself when you decide it can wait?

Maybe today is a good day to be honest about it. And, if you have the capacity, take that first step.

Real Talk with Lady Flava 🌻

From Flava in Her Tower 🌻