✨ I Stereotyped All Asians Bow ✨

Growing up, bowing wasn’t something I saw —it was something I felt.

My Japanese Grandma Matsu and my aunties would bow every time we gathered.

There was a rhythm to it…

a softness…

a grace that lived in their bodies naturally.

I remember hearing as a little girl:

“She’s the eldest.

We bow lower out of respect.”

And they did.

Every time.

At Japanese Baptist Church, where my daddy was the minister, the congregation bowed too —

greetings, thank yous, goodbyes, moments of gratitude…

it was woven into every interaction.

So yes… bowing was the cultural ground I stood on.

It was familiar.

It was home.

It was part of the way we showed respect.

Because of that, bowing became something I associated with “Asian elders,” without separating what was Japanese from the rest of Asia.

And that’s where today’s moment comes in.

J was on the phone, and I wasn’t even looking at him… just listening.

His tone softened.

His cadence slowed.

His voice dropped into that respectful space we use with elders.

And instantly, without even thinking, I pictured him bowing.

So when he hung up, I said:

“I bet you were bowing while you talked.”

He laughed and said, “Filipinos don’t bow.”

And baby… that stopped me.

Because even though I grew up with bowing —even though it’s in my blood, even though it shaped my childhood —

I realized I had lumped ALL Asians into one gesture.

Not out of disrespect.

Out of habit.

Out of familiarity.

Out of what I witnessed and lived.

But Asia isn’t a monolith.

And bowing isn’t a universal gesture.

It’s Japanese.

It’s Korean.

It’s used in some parts of China.

But it’s not Filipino.

It’s not Vietnamese.

It’s not Thai.

It’s not Cambodian.

And even within each country, it shifts.

So I had to check myself — lovingly —

and remind myself that even as an Asian woman,

I can still make cultural assumptions without meaning to.

Today taught me something simple but real:

Just because something is familiar to me doesn’t mean it belongs to everyone.

And growth is catching yourself without shame, correcting yourself without ego, and laughing at yourself with kindness.