Thursday | A Taste of Flava

I Knew It Would Work Out

Dear Friends,

Yesterday, I had an appointment with my new primary care doctor.

My daughter normally takes me to my medical appointments, but she had to work. I scheduled an Uber, prepared my walker, packed a small sling bag, and made sure I had everything I needed.

I knew it would work out.

Still, as the appointment grew closer, I became increasingly anxious.

I kept thinking about getting down the stairs, managing my walker, getting into an unfamiliar vehicle, walking through the long hallway at the medical center, completing the appointment, and then doing the entire trip in reverse.

And waiting for me at home would be the hardest part—climbing all 28 stairs to get back to my tower.

My mind knew I would be okay.

But my body knew how much work it would take to get there and back.

I think that is what I was reacting to.

It wasn’t that I believed something terrible was going to happen. It was the uncertainty of doing everything without the familiar support I normally have beside me.

Sometimes we don’t realize how much safety we receive from another person’s presence until we have to move through something without them.

Both of my drivers were kind and helped me get in and out of their vehicles. I arrived on time, met a doctor I really liked, and even completed my lab work before the lab closed.

Then I came home and faced those stairs.

I rested when I needed to rest, accepted help, and made it all the way back upstairs.

I was exhausted. My pain was bad, and I had to take naproxen before bed.

But I did it.

Looking back this morning, I am not going to criticize myself for becoming anxious. Mobility challenges have changed the amount of planning and physical effort required for me to do something that once felt simple.

Knowing everything will work out doesn’t always quiet the anxiety.

Sometimes our mind understands the outcome while our body is still bracing itself for the journey.

Courage isn’t always feeling confident and unafraid.

Sometimes courage is knowing the day will be difficult, feeling anxious anyway, asking for the help you need—and still going.

🌻 Flava in Her Tower 🌻