A Great Memory in My Life

Today is the anniversary of the passing of a gentleman I cared for many years ago in Las Vegas.

I first met him while working as a caregiver. He had Alzheimer’s disease and could no longer speak. He communicated through hand gestures that probably looked strange to other people, but somehow, he and I understood each other.

I cannot explain exactly how our connection happened. Sometimes two people simply connect.

His wife noticed how comfortable he was with me. She appreciated the kindness and care I gave him and eventually asked whether I would be willing to help care for him in their home. She needed someone she trusted to stay with him while she ran errands or took a little time for herself.

I agreed.

Most days were quiet. When he took a nap, I would sit at the end of his bed while his dog rested with him. Other times, we would sit together in the living room.

He did not like using his walker. He would take off moving too fast, stumble, and I would try my best to keep him from falling. That man could keep me on my toes.

Although he could not speak, he trusted me.

When the nurse was present and he refused to take his medication from her, he would take it from me. He allowed me to feed him. We communicated without having a traditional conversation.

As his Alzheimer’s progressed, he began sleeping more. He was not very responsive, and it became harder to know how much of what was happening around him he understood.

Then one day, his wife came home and asked him what he thought about going out to dinner and taking me with them.

To our surprise, he woke up and sat up. He walked to the car using his walker—and he walked well. During the ride, I could tell he was enjoying being out of the house.

We arrived at the restaurant, and I sat with him while his wife placed our order and got our drinks.

At some point during dinner, she got up to refill one of the drinks.

This man, whose voice I had never heard, turned to me and said:

“Hurry, drink her drink.”

I could not believe it! 🤣

There he was.

His humor, his personality and that little bit of mischief were still inside him. For that brief moment, the man living behind Alzheimer’s came forward and spoke directly to me.

We enjoyed our dinner. He ate well, seemed happy and remained alert throughout the outing. We got him home safely.

A few days later, he passed away.

I attended his service and learned even more about the remarkable life he had lived before I knew him. His wife and I remained in contact for a while, but eventually, as sometimes happens in life, we drifted apart.

I have never forgotten either of them.

I especially have not forgotten the trust he placed in me.

He could not tell me with words that he felt safe with me, but he showed me. He allowed me to care for him, feed him and give him his medicine. Somehow, in a world that had become increasingly difficult for him to navigate, we found our own way to communicate.

I also never forgot that final dinner.

I had cared for him quietly, never expecting anything in return. Yet shortly before he left this earth, I was given the gift of hearing his voice. And true to the connection we shared, the first thing he did was make me laugh.

Some people enter our lives for only a short season, but the connection leaves a permanent place in our hearts.

All these years later, I can still hear him saying:

“Hurry, drink her drink.”

And I still laugh. 🤣

That evening will always be one of the great memories of my life.

A Lady Flava Memory 🌻