Real Talk: Where Kindness Begins

I’ve been thinking about bullying — not just how common it is now, but how normalized it’s become. Kids. Teens. Adults. Online. At work. In everyday spaces. It didn’t come out of nowhere.

And the more I sit with it, the clearer it gets: most bullies aren’t born mean.

They’re shaped.

I look back at how I was raised and I feel real gratitude. It wasn’t perfect — no family is — but it was healthy. I was taught responsibility and respect. I was taught to be honest. To care. To understand that how I treat people matters. I wasn’t raised to win at all costs. I was raised to be a good person.

That foundation stays with you.

Not everyone got that. Some people grew up without attention, without affirmation, without feeling seen or valued. Feeling invisible leaves a mark. And when that happens early, it doesn’t just vanish with time. It hardens. It spills. Sometimes it turns into control, cruelty, or the need to dominate just to feel real.

I don’t believe most mental health struggles suddenly appear in adulthood. Many begin quietly in childhood — long before there are words for what’s missing. Long before anyone is listening.

So I keep asking myself this:

What if children grew up watching adults be kind to each other?

What if they saw conflict handled with calm instead of chaos?

What if they learned early that being heard didn’t require being loud, cruel, or dismissive?

Kindness isn’t soft. It’s formative.

Kindness is learned through example. It’s learned when kids watch adults pause instead of explode. When they see accountability paired with dignity. When they’re taught that strength doesn’t come from tearing someone else down.

And let me be clear — kindness doesn’t mean permissive. It doesn’t mean excusing bad behavior. It means correcting with humanity. Teaching responsibility without humiliation. Showing that you can be firm and compassionate at the same time.

If we want fewer bullies, we can’t just shame kids and move on.

We have to look at what they’re absorbing.

What they’re witnessing.

What’s modeled in homes, schools, and communities.

Kindness builds connection.

Connection creates safety.

And safety gives people room to grow without becoming hardened.

So no — this isn’t too intense.

This is Real Talk.

Because kindness isn’t a personality trait.

It’s a responsibility.

And it starts early. 🌻