We See, But We Don’t See

Certain things weigh heavily on my heart…

I want all people to be seen, respected, and supported.

Life is not perfect. I am not perfect. But I often think about the statement, “Be the difference that makes a difference,” created by two hip-hop artists—one from Chicago and the other from Maryland.

No, I do not like everyone. That is simply a fact.

Certain things people say and do trigger something within me. But even when I do not like someone, I can still show respect. If it is that bad, I can choose not to engage. And when we must share the same space, I can respect that person in the moment without pretending we are going to be friends.

But respect, being seen, and feeling supported are not one-size-fits-all.

I often talk about this loud world we live in. There is so much noise and so many opinions being shared that our young people are exposed to concepts they may not be old enough to fully grasp. Yet they try to understand them for many different reasons.

Everyone has an opinion. Everyone wants to be heard. And sometimes, when you do not agree, the voices only get louder.

Some people are encouraged to openly identify who they are and what they need, while others feel they are expected to hush. Who decided which personal truths can be spoken aloud and which ones make people uncomfortable?

Who came up with all these new dos and don’ts?

I want people to achieve and succeed, but too often we are blinded to the individual tools someone may need to move forward with confidence, presence, and a clear understanding.

Speak up.

No—not like that. Hush. Don’t say that.

We see people, but we do not always see them.

How do we come together and respectfully communicate what we need from one another—in real time—before an issue arises?

I always talk about the importance of knowing ourselves and understanding how we feel, inside and out. It is so very important. If we do not understand ourselves, how can we clearly tell someone else what we need?

Technology has connected us, but at times it has also blurred our ability to understand one another and communicate effectively.

People are hurting.

People are scared.

People are anxious.

People are living invisibly in a very public world.

Life, with everything it demands, can leave some people feeling so overwhelmed and hopeless that they take their own lives. That alone should tell us that something is missing in the way we see, hear, and support one another.

I have been told to stand down and stay in my lane. I have had young people tell me I am wrong. I have had people of a different color tell me I am weak because I calmly expressed that I did not appreciate the way they were speaking to me.

Apparently, speaking up is encouraged—until what you say makes someone else uncomfortable.

Still, I want to be part of the solution.

I live in a fast world that tells me to cut it short when I push the limits and give someone the time they need to feel heard. We have created systems where, if you push the wrong button, you end up on hold—and may still never receive the help you need.

So, what is the solution?

How do we support healthy living, genuine engagement, personal achievement, and fulfillment?

What I believe is fair and right is not always heard, understood, or appreciated.

I come from a different land. It had some similarities to the present, but I was raised on a different foundation. My world was quieter. People did not share every thought publicly, but there was more room to notice what was happening around us.

Now everything moves fast, speaks loudly, and expects an immediate response.

But I still want to be the difference that makes a difference.

And I try to do that every day, in my own way—even when I am told to stand down, stay in my lane, or cut it short.

So, on this Friday morning from my tower, I sip my hot water, prepare for my day, and look forward to walking into my workplace from a different direction this afternoon—not as an employee, but as a patient.

Perhaps that, too, will remind me how important it is for every person to feel seen.

From Flava in Her Tower 🌻