Friday Real Talk | Did You Hear the Whole Question—or Just the Part You Wanted to Answer?

This has happened to me so many times throughout my life.

I will explain something, provide the details, and then ask a specific question. The person responds—but somehow, they only respond to one small part of what I said.

Not the actual question.

Not the reason I asked it.

Just the one part that stood out to them.

Sometimes this happens in a face-to-face conversation. Sometimes it happens over the telephone. And goodness knows, it happens through text messages and emails.

I will read the response and think:

Did you read the entire message?

Did you misunderstand what I was asking?

Did you choose the easiest part to answer?

Or did one familiar word catch your attention, causing you to stop listening to everything that followed?

Because there is a difference between hearing someone and listening to understand them.

Listening is more than waiting for a familiar word so you can jump into the conversation. It means hearing the complete statement, understanding why the person is giving you those details, and responding to what they are actually trying to learn.

Sometimes people may intentionally choose the part they want to answer because the full question requires more thought, honesty, or accountability.

Other times, I think one part of the communication simply stands out to them. Their mind grabs onto it, and they begin forming a response before they have finished listening to—or reading—everything else.

It may not be intentional.

But the result is still the same.

The person who took the time to explain themselves walks away feeling unheard.

Now they have to repeat the information, ask the question again, or find another way to make their point clear.

And after this happens enough times, you begin to wonder whether people are listening to understand you—or listening just long enough to find their opportunity to respond.

I know I communicate with details. I do that because the details usually matter. They explain how I arrived at the question and what I am actually trying to understand.

So when someone answers only one small part, I am left sitting there thinking:

Did I speak a different language, or did you stop listening halfway through? 🤣

Real Talk—have you ever asked someone a complete question, only to realize they answered the part they wanted to hear?

🌻❣️🌻

Real Talk with Lady Flava 🌻