It’s Too Loud: Does Everything Need an Audience?

I have been thinking about something…

Can you support—or even choose to experience—the work of a creative whose publicly displayed character or behavior goes against what you believe is acceptable?

Does disappointing behavior take away from amazing talent?

Can you truly separate the art from the artist?

This one is difficult for me.

I spent years involved in the Indie Arts and Entertainment industry. I supported creatives, played their music, interviewed them, attended events, held artist roundtables, created open-mic spaces and offered one-on-one guidance.

I loved the talent.

I loved watching someone step onto a stage and share something that came from inside of them. I loved the energy, the storytelling and seeing a creative connect with an audience.

But Vegas taught me something I could never unlearn:

The person you enjoy onstage may be very different from the person you meet after the lights go down.

Sometimes getting to know the creative changed how I experienced the creativity.

It wasn’t always one terrible act. Sometimes it was the repeated drama, poor choices, entitlement, treatment of others or a general darkness that seemed to follow the person everywhere.

I began to realize that I would rather know the talent without knowing the creative.

Now social media has given all of us a backstage pass—and I’m not sure we needed one.

Every day, somebody is exposing someone. Old interviews are resurfacing. Private family problems are being discussed publicly. People are digging into the lives of people who have been dead for years. Stories are repeated until assumptions start sounding like facts.

Some of what we hear is true.

Some of it is questionable.

Some of it is missing context.

But all of it is loud.

And once you learn certain things about a creative, can you go back to experiencing the work in the same way?

There are people whose talent I can clearly recognize, but whom I no longer choose to support. I do not have to pretend someone is untalented simply because I don’t respect their behavior. Talent is talent.

But acknowledging talent and supporting the person are not the same thing.

Listening is a choice.

Purchasing is a choice.

Attending a performance is a choice.

Promoting someone is a choice.

Defending them is also a choice.

For some people, the separation is easy:

I enjoy the music. I’m not interested in the artist’s personal life.

For others, the person’s behavior enters the room with the art. Once that happens, the music sounds different. The movie feels different. The words no longer land in the same place.

It becomes especially complicated when the work is connected to our memories.

What happens when romantic songs from your younger years are attached to someone whose present-day words or behavior feel unloving?

The song may still be beautifully written. The voice may still be extraordinary. The memory attached to it may still belong to you.

But can you continue listening without thinking about what you now know?

I don’t know if there is one right answer.

I do know that people do not have to share everything.

That applies beyond arts and entertainment too.

Some people bring every personal detail into the workplace. Others share their private lives online with strangers and then become upset when strangers form opinions. We are living in a time when disclosure is often treated like authenticity.

But is it?

There is a time to speak.

There is a person to speak to.

There is a place to tell your story.

And there are also things that can remain private.

Privacy is not dishonesty.

Having boundaries does not mean you are ashamed of who you are.

Every thought does not require an audience. Every family disagreement does not belong online. Every personal detail does not need to be carried into a professional space.

Sometimes I want to say:

Shhhhhhh. 🤫

Let the work speak.

Let the music play.

Let people experience what you came to share without making them responsible for every part of your personal life.

Maybe that is another reason I stepped away from arts and entertainment. I didn’t stop loving creativity. I became tired of the noise surrounding it.

I wanted to appreciate the gift without feeling obligated to embrace everything about the person carrying it.

But I genuinely want to know what others think.

Can you separate extraordinary talent from disappointing character?

Does the seriousness of the behavior determine where you draw the line?

Can you enjoy older work while refusing to support anything new?

Does listening to someone’s music mean you support the person—or can it simply mean the music still holds a memory that belongs to you?

And when it comes to sharing our own lives, how do we decide what should be said, when it should be said and who truly needs to hear it?

Where is your line?

Let’s have the conversation.

Because the world is loud—but perhaps listening thoughtfully to one another can still teach us something.

Real Talk with Lady Flava 🌻