What’s something you used to worry about but don’t anymore?

Lady Flava’s Response to the WordPress Prompt

“What’s something you used to worry about but don’t anymore?”

As I have gotten older, I have taken more time to identify my why throughout my life.

Why did I say that?

Why did I do that?

Why was I triggered?

Why was I drawn to participate?

There are so many whys.

So, to answer this question, I would have to say:

I used to worry about being needed.

I always wanted to be there for others.

I wanted to be the support person.

The one who had the knowledge.

The one who had the skills.

The one who could step in and play a significant role in someone else’s life or project.

For a long time, I believed that was my calling.

I also think I have always had a soft spot for the underdog because, in many ways, I have felt like an underdog myself.

So I would naturally position myself to support other people who were trying to build something, overcome something, or simply needed someone in their corner.

For a while, that life felt fulfilling.

Then it became exhausting.

It never stopped.

There was always someone who needed something.

There was always another project.

Another problem.

Another person I thought I could help.

And somewhere along the way, I realized I was trying to build a business around the skills I had gained over the years.

I was trying to turn my passion and experience into something that could also support me financially.

But instead, I kept giving my skills away for free.

I was helping other people build.

Helping other people grow.

Helping other people move forward.

And my business was not making money.

That forced me to look at something uncomfortable.

Did I like helping people? Absolutely.

But did I also like feeling needed?

Yes.

And I think somewhere in that need to be needed, I confused being useful with being valued.

Those are not always the same thing.

Sometimes people value what you can do for them.

Sometimes they value your knowledge.

Sometimes they value your availability.

Sometimes they value the role you play.

But that does not always mean they value you.

That was a hard lesson.

But it was also freeing.

Because now?

I no longer worry about stepping up and playing a role in everybody else’s projects.

I no longer feel responsible for fixing, guiding, building, organizing, or supporting everything I see.

I no longer have the same need to be needed.

Now, I step up for myself.

I put my energy into what matters in my own life.

I protect my time.

I protect my creativity.

I protect my knowledge.

I protect the years of experience it took me to become who I am.

I will always be a supportive person.

That is simply part of me.

But now, I support others on a selective basis.

Not because I need to feel important.

Not because I need to feel useful.

Not because I need someone to need me.

But because I genuinely choose to.

And there is a big difference between being needed and being valued.

The older I get, the more I understand that difference.

And today, I am perfectly okay with not being needed by everybody.

I would rather be present where I am appreciated, respected, and where my presence actually matters.

That is one thing I no longer worry about.

I do not need to be needed anymore.

I just need to be true to myself.

Lady Flava of LadyFlavaNews 🌻