Wednesday Real Talk

Today’s vs. Yesterday’s Outfit Sex Appeal

Disclaimer: This is my personal opinion based on how I was raised and the differences I notice between generations. Everyone has the right to wear what makes them feel comfortable and confident. I also have the right to say that I may not consider it fashionable. 😉

I was watching women’s basketball when the conversation drifted away from the game and into fashion, sex appeal, and how women present themselves today.

Let me begin by saying this: I was raised in a different time.

Women like Diana Ross and the Supremes were beautiful, glamorous, and undeniably sexy. They wore fitted gowns, sparkling dresses, and high heels. Their figures were visible, but they did not have to show everything.

They left something to the imagination.

Their sex appeal came from the whole presentation—the hair, the clothing, the posture, the graceful walk, and the confidence. They knew how to enter a room, stand on a stage, and carry themselves like women who understood their beauty.

Today, it sometimes seems that sex appeal is measured by how much skin a woman is willing to reveal.

A small piece of strategically placed fabric is called fashion. A dress may be so tight, short, or revealing that there is no mystery left. Then expensive shoes are added, even when the woman cannot walk comfortably or gracefully in them.

I was raised with a simple rule:

Do not wear shoes you cannot gracefully walk in.

It did not matter how beautiful or expensive the shoes were. If you could not stand tall, maintain your balance, and walk confidently, those were not the shoes for you.

Wear a lower heel.

Wear a wider heel.

Wear a beautiful flat.

But do not allow your shoes to wear you.

The same applies to clothing. A designer name does not automatically make something stylish. A revealing outfit may attract attention, but attention and elegance are not the same thing.

Now, I am not saying women should cover themselves from their necks to their ankles. I am not against a woman feeling beautiful, sexy, or confident. I am saying that sex appeal does not require exposing nearly every part of your body.

There was a time when allure included mystery.

A woman could be attractive because of how she moved, how she spoke, how she smiled, and how she carried herself. Her clothing complemented her presence. It did not have to become the entire conversation.

And yes, women have the right to wear whatever they choose. But as I recently wrote, your choices may block opportunities.

The image you present may open doors with certain people or companies while closing doors with others. That may not feel fair, but presentation still matters in many professional and business settings.

Freedom of choice does not mean freedom from how those choices may be received.

Maybe this is simply the difference between generations. What younger people call bold and fashionable, women from my generation may call entirely too revealing.

But I still believe a woman can be sexy without showing everything.

I still believe clothing should enhance the woman—not overpower her.

And I still believe that if you cannot walk gracefully in those heels, you need to take them off. 🤣

That is my old-school opinion, and I am standing in it—gracefully, in shoes I know how to walk in.

Real Talk with Lady Flava 😊

Real Talk. Real Life. My Flava.