Friday Real Talk

I Like My Own Company

More and more, I realize that I genuinely like my own company.

I do not have a strong desire to get out and socialize. I do not pick up the phone and call people very often. It is not because I have stopped loving or caring about my people.

I simply do not always want to talk.

Part of that may come from spending eight hours a day, Monday through Friday, working on phones connected to 21 different doctor lines. By the end of my workday, I have listened, answered questions, solved problems, and communicated with people for hours.

When I finally clock out, I am ready for quiet.

I like doing my own thing up in my Tower.

I write my blogs. This is one of my favorite times of the day. I sit with myself and ask:

What topic is pulling at me today?

What has been sitting in my spirit?

What do I want to understand better?

Then I take my time, research the subject, and allow the words to come together.

That is enjoyable to me.

I have also been sitting upright more after work. I used to immediately lie down, but now I am intentionally trying to remain upright longer. Every day, I work on moving my body, building strength, and preparing myself for the mobility I believe I will regain.

I truly believe there will come a day when I can move more freely and manage stairs again.

But this is a one-day-at-a-time journey for me.

My weekends are my time to do whatever I feel like doing in my Tower. I may write, read, watch television, observe my wildlife friends, take pictures, think, learn something new, or simply enjoy the peace around me.

That may not sound exciting to everyone, but it feels good to me.

There was a time when my life looked very different.

When I was a young mother, the girls and I would visit people. My god sister and I would go dancing on the weekends. When I lived in Las Vegas, if I was not working, I was usually attending a show and supporting one of the local entertainers.

I lived that life, and I enjoyed it.

But none of that interests me anymore.

I do not feel as though I am missing something. I do not sit in my Tower wishing I were somewhere else. I am not looking backward with regret.

I am content.

People often say that as we get older, we become “set in our ways.” I believe there is some truth to that. After decades of living, we learn what works for us. We establish routines that feel safe, familiar, and peaceful.

Life experience also teaches us that everything new is not necessarily better. We become more protective of our energy because we finally understand how valuable it is.

Of course, being comfortable in our ways should not mean becoming completely closed off. We can still remain curious, continue learning, try something different, and challenge our minds.

I certainly do.

I research new topics. I write every day. I learn about my body and health. I try new movements and exercises. I continue working toward goals that matter to me.

My world may have become smaller physically, but it has not become empty.

There is a difference between being lonely and enjoying solitude.

There is also a difference between withdrawing because we are hurting and intentionally choosing the environment where we feel most peaceful.

For me, my Tower is not a place where I am hiding from life.

It is where I am living my life—my way.

I love my people. I care about what is happening in their lives. But I no longer believe that love must always be proven through constant phone calls, visits, outings, and conversation.

Sometimes I just do not feel like talking.

And I am okay with that.

I have lived a full life. I have raised my daughters, built businesses, worked hard, danced, traveled, supported entertainers, cared for others, and created countless memories.

This season is quieter.

It is slower.

It is more intentional.

And it belongs to me.

Now, what does your world look like, my seasoned friends?

Have you become more comfortable with your own company?

Do you enjoy socializing as much as you once did, or have you also become protective of your time, peace, and energy?

Let’s talk about it.

Real Talk with Lady Flava 🌻