Sunday Real Talk

Listen With Your Ears—Not Your Triggers

That statement makes so much sense when you really stop and think about it.

I know I can react to certain things that trigger me before I have taken the time to think them through. Something is said, it touches an old wound, and my emotions respond before my mind has had a chance to process what was actually said.

Then I have to stop and ask myself:

Why did I react that way?

Was I responding to this moment—or to something that happened a long time ago?

Listening through our triggers means filtering someone’s words through our past pain instead of hearing what they are actually saying.

Old wounds can make us expect the worst.

A simple suggestion can feel like a personal attack. A normal “no” can feel like rejection. Someone needing quiet time can feel like abandonment. Even calm words can sound like criticism when they touch a place inside us that has not completely healed.

The present moment sets off an alarm—but sometimes that alarm belongs to our past.

I believe this is happening throughout our world. We are reacting emotionally to pieces of what we hear instead of slowing down long enough to listen to the full message—and understand why it is being said.

We hear one word, one opinion, or one sentence that touches a nerve, and we are ready to defend, correct, argue, or shut down.

But did we truly listen?

This is something I am working on within myself:

Pause before reacting.

Reflect on why I feel hurt, angry, or defensive.

Separate the person speaking today from the person who may have hurt me in the past.

Pay attention to patterns so I can recognize what repeatedly triggers me.

Strong emotions can teach us something about ourselves—but only if we are willing to stop and listen.

And here is another lesson I am learning:

Some things do not require a response.

I do not have to attend every argument I am invited to. I do not have to defend myself against every misunderstanding. Sometimes I can listen, process what was said, and decide that silence is the healthiest answer.

We may not be able to control what touches an old wound, but we can learn not to let that wound control every conversation.

Listen with your ears—not your triggers.

Then take a moment before deciding whether your voice is even needed.

That is something to think about. 🤔

Real Talk with Lady Flava 🌻