Why Must Everything Become a Divide?

I was watching a documentary about America’s Next Top Model, and what I saw was horrible.

It was filled with unnecessary drama, humiliation, competition and division—all packaged as entertainment.

But the more I watched, the more I realized this conversation is much bigger than one television show.

No matter where we go in life, it feels like someone is creating a divide.

We see it in families.

Workplaces.

Friendships.

Schools.

Churches.

Politics.

Sports.

Entertainment.

Social media.

Even in communities that claim to embrace diversity and inclusion.

Some division is intentional. There are people who benefit from keeping others angry, suspicious of one another and fighting to belong.

But I don’t believe all of it begins that way.

Sometimes people naturally gravitate toward those who look like them,, think like them, communicate like them or share similar experiences. There may not be a plan to exclude anyone.

But eventually, awareness presents itself.

Someone feels overlooked.

Someone realizes the same opportunities are not being offered to everyone.

Someone notices that certain voices are welcomed while others are dismissed.

Someone recognizes that the rules change depending on who is standing in front of them.

Once awareness presents itself, we have a choice.

We can listen, learn and make room—or we can become defensive and deepen the divide.

There is enough fact-checked documentation available to educate us about what people have experienced throughout history and what they continue to experience today.

And then there are our gut feelings—the things we sense before we can fully explain them. Something in our spirit tells us when a situation feels unfair, unsafe or intentionally divisive.

Facts can inform us.

Our experiences can shape us.

Our instincts can warn us.

But if we are not careful, all three can also be used to keep conflict alive.

Not every disagreement needs to become a battle.

Not every difference requires someone to win.

Not everyone has to think alike, live alike or communicate the same way in order to share space respectfully.

And here is something else we need to understand:

Inclusion does not mean everyone must become friends.

It does not mean we must invite everyone into our personal lives.

It does not mean we have to like everybody.

Sometimes respect simply means leaving people alone.

Let them live.

Let them believe what they believe.

Let them exist without ridicule, harassment or a campaign to make them feel unwelcome.

We can acknowledge our differences without using them as weapons.

We can create space for people without demanding that they become like us first.

We can decide that someone is not our person and still treat them with basic human dignity.

That should not be difficult—but apparently, it is.

Too many people want understanding without trying to understand anyone else.

They want their differences respected while mocking somebody else’s.

They want inclusion when they feel excluded but have little concern for the person standing outside the circle they created.

That is not inclusion.

That is simply changing who gets left out.

My daddy fought for the inclusion of all people. Not just the people who looked like him, agreed with him or made him comfortable.

All people.

That belief became part of me.

I want people to feel seen and respected. I want people to have room to be themselves. But I also understand that we will not all connect, agree or belong in the same personal circles.

And that is okay.

We do not have to embrace each other personally.

But we can embrace the fact that our differences are part of being human.

And when we cannot do that, we can respectfully leave each other alone—and leave it right there.

No humiliation.

No bullying.

No unnecessary drama.

No constant need to create another divide.

There is already enough conflict in this world.

The question is: Are we helping close the divide—or have we simply become more comfortable deciding who belongs on the other side?

Let’s have a Real Talk Conversation.

Why do you think we continue creating division when respect could be so much simpler?

From Flava in Her Tower 🌻

Real Talk with Lady Flava 🌻