Who Is Teaching Us How to Live?

I was thinking about teaching and learning.

We should always want to share what we know, while remaining willing to grow in our own understanding. Neither age nor experience means we know everything. The healthiest relationships allow knowledge to move in both directions.

But somewhere along the way, we got away from those kinds of relationships.

We talk about social media being loud—and it is. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone has advice. Everyone believes they are an expert on something.

But before social media became the place where people learned how to live, cracks were already forming within the foundation of many families.

Single parents were trying to do the work of two people.

Parents were working multiple jobs, long hours and unpredictable schedules just to keep food on the table and a roof over everyone’s head.

Children were coming home to empty houses without supervision—not always because their parents didn’t care, but because their parents were trying to survive.

More young people began maturing without consistent guidance. They learned about life on their own, from other young people who were also trying to figure it out, or from whatever community accepted them.

I am not saying this to blame struggling parents or criticize young people. I am saying we need to understand how we arrived here.

When I was coming up, parenting extended beyond the people who gave birth to you. We had grandparents, aunties, uncles, neighbors, teachers, church members and elders who paid attention. They corrected us, encouraged us and taught us things we didn’t even realize we needed to know.

There was guidance.

There was accountability.

There were different generations regularly sharing the same spaces and learning from one another.

That doesn’t happen as naturally today.

There is a generational divide—and both sides are losing something valuable.

Young people are missing the wisdom that comes from lived experience. Older people are missing the opportunity to understand a changing world through younger eyes.

Teaching should never be about controlling someone or making them feel small. It should be about offering knowledge that may help them make better decisions.

Learning should never make someone feel weak or inferior. Being willing to listen, ask questions and reconsider what we believe is part of growth.

We need both.

We also need to encourage families to heal where healing is possible. That may require honest conversations, forgiveness, accountability and letting go of pain that has traveled through generations.

But healing does not always mean returning to unhealthy relationships.

Sometimes a new foundation must be built.

Family can be blood, but family can also be the elders, mentors, friends and trusted people who consistently show up. It can be a circle created with intention—one where people feel safe, valued and supported.

Everyone deserves somewhere they can ask questions.

Somewhere they can make mistakes.

Somewhere they can receive honest guidance without being humiliated.

Somewhere they know they matter.

If we want stronger communities, we must rebuild relationships where teaching and learning can happen again.

Someone needs what you have learned.

And no matter how much you have learned, someone still has something they can teach you.

Real Talk Question:
Who taught you how to live—and who are you intentionally teaching now?

From Flava in Her Tower 🌻