Friday A Taste of Flava

I Have Learned How to Use My Voice

The sound of someone’s voice is huge for me.

I hear the tone. I hear the inflection. I hear the warmth—or the lack of it. I hear when someone is smiling while they are talking, even when I cannot see their face.

A voice can draw me into a conversation, make me feel comfortable and cause me to want to continue listening.

A voice can also make me stop listening.

I love audiobooks, but the narrator matters. I have turned off an audiobook I wanted to hear because the voice—or voices—were not pleasing to my ears. The story may be good, but if I cannot connect with the person reading it, I cannot stay with the book.

That is how sensitive I am to voices.

Throughout my many years of life, I have also learned how to use my own voice well.

Some of that came from my years of hosting radio shows. When you are on the radio, your listeners cannot see your face or read your body language. Your voice has to carry everything.

I learned how to use my tone, pacing, pauses and inflection. I learned how to pull listeners into a story, emphasize an important point, create excitement and allow someone to hear the smile in my voice.

Eventually, it became natural.

My voice has also served me well throughout my personal and professional life.

Working in healthcare and speaking with patients on the phone has shown me how powerful a voice can be. Many of the people calling our clinic are elderly, anxious, frustrated, in pain or confused about what they need to do next.

Before I can solve their problem, I need to help them feel comfortable enough to explain it.

My voice lets them know:

You are not bothering me.

I am listening.

Take your time.

We will figure out the next step.

More and more, elderly patients thank me for my kindness. Sometimes, I am able to share a little chuckle with them. That moment of laughter may seem small, but it can change the entire feeling of a phone call.

I am really good on the phones.

I know how to adjust my communication depending on the person. Some people need warmth and reassurance. Some want me to get directly to the point. Some need information repeated slowly and clearly. Some need a little humor to release the tension they were carrying when they called.

I give them what they need while remaining authentically myself.

Years of communicating with neurodivergent people, participating in support groups and studying communication have also taught me what can be missed in connection.

Not everyone responds to tone, inflection, eye contact or facial expression in the same way. I have learned how to recognize those differences without assuming that someone is rude, uninterested or disconnected.

I can usually tell by a person’s reaction whether they are especially sensitive to the sound of my voice.

Some people immediately hear the warmth and respond to it. Others may not register it in the same way.

They still get the dazzle. ✨

I do not turn off my kindness because someone does not reflect it back to me. I continue to speak clearly, respectfully and warmly because that is how I choose to communicate.

There are also times when I answer the phone and immediately think:

You have a fabulous voice.

I want to say it out loud, but professional Susan knows that probably would not be appropriate during a healthcare call. So I keep the compliment inside and continue doing my job. 😂

My voice is more than the sound carrying my words.

It is one of the ways I care for people.

It is how I reassure someone who is worried, advocate for someone who needs help, entertain people through storytelling and bring a little warmth into a system that can sometimes feel cold and overwhelming.

I have spent years learning how to use my voice, but I did not learn it all from a class.

I learned through radio.

I learned through caregiving.

I learned through business.

I learned through healthcare.

I learned through family, friendships, support groups and years of communicating with many different kinds of people.

Today, using my voice well comes naturally to me.

It is one of my gifts.

What about you?

Does the sound of someone’s voice affect how you receive them? Have you ever stopped listening to an audiobook or podcast because you could not connect with the speaker’s voice?

Have you learned how to use your own voice to comfort, persuade, teach, entertain or advocate?

Or is the sound of a voice simply not something you notice?

Let’s Talk About It. 😁

From Flava in Her Tower 🌻