Real Talk: When Being Social Starts Making You Sick

I noticed something this week that stayed with me.

In a work conversation, some younger folks were talking about the new year and how they planned to push themselves to be more social. That wording caught my attention. Not excitement. Not anticipation. But forcing themselves.

That alone says a lot.

I’ve also noticed a pattern over time — people talking about pushing themselves to be social, and then shortly after, getting sick. Sore throats. Needing recovery time. Calling off work. It happens often enough that it no longer feels random.

That’s not judgment. That’s observation.

At the same time, I want to be honest about my own dilemma.

I push myself too — but for different reasons. When I choose to be social, I’m factoring in physical reality. Chronic pain. Stairs that take more out of me than they used to. The mental math of Is this worth the energy it will cost my body?

Sometimes I say yes because the person matters. Because the connection feeds me. And even then, I know there will be a price — rest afterward, recovery time, gentleness the next day.

That’s very different from forcing yourself out of obligation.

When I was younger, being social gave me energy. I went dancing every weekend. I stayed out late. And I still showed up to work at 6 a.m., running the flower department at a grocery store. I didn’t get sick all the time. My body wasn’t resisting my life.

Back then, social life was fuel.

Now, for many people, it feels like a drain.

Today, it appears that being social often comes with pressure — to show up, to say yes, to not disappoint, to not be left out, to be visible. That pressure turns connection into obligation. And the body knows the difference.

When we override our body’s signals long enough — fatigue, resistance, pain, overwhelm — the body finds another way to speak. Sometimes that way is illness. Sometimes it’s burnout. Sometimes it’s anxiety. Getting sick becomes the boundary when saying no feels too hard or too costly.

This isn’t about blaming anyone. Younger generations are navigating nonstop communication, constant invites, and unspoken expectations. Rest can feel like opting out instead of self-care.

But here’s the Real Talk:

If your social life regularly makes you sick, something needs to be examined.

If connection costs your health, it’s not sustainable.

Rest is not antisocial.

Choosing your energy is not weakness.

And forcing yourself to belong will always come at a price.

There’s a difference between pushing yourself toward meaning and pushing yourself past your limits. One builds resilience. The other breaks you down.

Being social should add life — not take it away.