Friday Health & Wellness

When Hurt Starts Hurting Everyone

I’ve been thinking about something.

Life is hard.

There are people living in toxic relationships.
People dealing with chronic pain.
People carrying trauma from years ago.
People raising children alone.
People struggling financially.
People grieving.
People taking care of sick loved ones.
People working jobs that drain them.
People living with anxiety and depression.

That kind of stress changes people.

Sometimes they become quiet.

Sometimes they fall apart.

Sometimes they lose themselves.

And sometimes…they lash out.

Not always because they’re mean.

Not always because they want to hurt someone.

Sometimes because they are so emotionally full that everything spills over onto the people standing closest to them.

I understand that.

But here’s the part I don’t think we talk about enough.

What about the person standing there getting hit by all of it?

Not physically.

Emotionally.

One angry comment.

One accusation.

One outburst.

One disrespectful conversation after another.

At first you make excuses.

“They’re just stressed.”

“They’ve been through a lot.”

“I know they’re hurting.”

Then weeks become months.

Months become years.

One day you realize you’re not okay either.

Your stomach stays in knots.

You don’t sleep well.

You’re anxious.

Your blood pressure is higher.

You replay conversations over and over.

You start questioning yourself.

You brace yourself before you answer the phone or walk through the door.

You realize you’ve been carrying someone else’s emotional pain, and now it’s affecting your own health.

That’s the part we don’t always recognize.

Pain doesn’t stay contained inside one person.

It spills over.

It lands on spouses.

Parents.

Children.

Friends.

Coworkers.

Healthcare workers.

Anyone who keeps showing up.

I have compassion for people who are hurting.

I really do.

But I also have compassion for the people who have been absorbing that hurt for months…or years.

Both people deserve healing.

One may need help dealing with what life has done to them.

The other may need help recovering from what life has done through them.

Health & Wellness isn’t only about eating better or exercising more.

Sometimes it’s recognizing that what is making you sick isn’t a virus or a disease.

Sometimes it’s the environment you’ve been living in.

Sometimes it’s the words you’ve been hearing.

Sometimes it’s the tension you’ve been carrying.

Sometimes it’s the weight of loving someone who is hurting.

That kind of pain leaves marks too.

Blessings,

Lady Flava 🌻