The Victory of Finally Being Seen

Today’s victory feels different.

It is not a celebration that I need both hips replaced. It is not happiness that X-rays showed I have no cartilage and bone spurs in either hip.

My victory is finally having proof of why I have struggled so hard to walk, stand upright, climb my stairs, and do certain exercises.

This entire time, I kept saying, “It is my hips.”

Today, my doctor examined me, looked at the new X-rays, and said repeatedly, “It is not your spine. It is clearly your hips.”

He pulled up an image of a healthy hip and placed it beside my images so I could see the difference for myself. I am a visual learner, and there it was—clear as day.

I wasn’t failing because I didn’t move enough.

I wasn’t refusing to exercise.

I wasn’t imagining how difficult walking had become.

I was trying to function with two severely damaged hips.

Getting through the X-rays was difficult. By the time we finished, Mariko had to get a wheelchair and push me to the clinic. After the examination, the trip home, and finally making it upstairs, I hurt.

But beneath tonight’s pain is relief.

My doctor took his time with me. He explained what was happening, answered my questions, and immediately began working toward the next step: hip-replacement surgery.

I am not grateful that my hips are damaged.

I am grateful that I was finally seen, heard, and believed.

Sometimes the victory is not receiving the news we wanted.

Sometimes the victory is finally receiving the answer we needed.

Tonight, I hurt—but I also have clarity, validation, and hope.

And that is today’s victory.

—Blessings, Lady Flava 🌻