Roots, Legacy & The Village That Raised Me

A Living Reflection by Lady Flava 🌻

There comes a point in life where you stop only surviving your story and finally begin understanding it.

At 65 going on 66, I realize more than ever that my life was never ordinary.

For years, I simply thought my world was normal because it was the only world I knew.

I did not fully understand that I was being raised around greatness, leadership, activism, ministry, integrity, Black excellence, mentorship, and community builders while also growing up in The Central Area of Seattle.

I lived in both worlds at once.

And now I understand why I think the way I do.

Why integrity matters so much to me.

Why communication matters.

Why I struggle with chaos.

Why I expect accountability.

Why community matters deeply to me.

Why I value peace.

This is for my children and grandchildren so they understand where I came from and who helped shape me.

My Village

I was raised by more than just my parents.

I was raised by a village.

My father was a minister, educator, and community leader who moved in circles with civil rights leaders, educators, judges, healthcare pioneers, activists, and strong community-minded families throughout Seattle.

For many years he worked at Seattle Central Community College as:

a sociology teacher

Director of Night School

Director of Minority Affairs

Director of Administration

Education, leadership, and community responsibility were deeply woven into our household.

My mother was quiet, loving, and steady in her own way. She may not always have known how to raise a daughter like me emotionally, but she loved me and she allowed powerful women around me to help guide me.

That mattered.

I was deeply influenced by:

My godmother, Elizabeth R. Thomas

Justice Charles Z. Smith and Eleanor Smith

The Dorsey family

Alois Boswell

Church mothers and professional

Black women in Seattle

Mercer Island families

Community leaders and activists

These were not distant historical figures to me.

They were people sitting in living rooms, at church services, around dinner tables, in hospitals, schools, tennis tournaments, and family gatherings.

They were my world.

My Godmother: Elizabeth R. Thomas

My godmother, Elizabeth R. Thomas, lived one house away.

That was my godsister’s mother.

She was a healthcare pioneer, mentor, educator, advocate, and community leader.

But to me, she was also family.

She helped teach me:

how to carry myself

how to look people in the eye

how to speak in different rooms

dignity

presentation

boundaries

discernment

womanhood

self-respect

She would say:

“You never bring your slang into the home. That stays with your friends.”

She taught me there is a time and place for everything.

She taught me how to move through different environments without losing myself.

She also gave me real-world wisdom.

When she developed cancer, I was there near the end.

Her daughters called me in the middle of the night and told me to come immediately.

I made it in time to tell my godmother I loved her, and she told me she loved me too.

She early in her hospice stay, told me in the that she had no idea how much she had impacted people’s lives until she became sick and people began showing her.

After she passed, an apartment complex on Henderson was later named after her.

Many people know the name Elizabeth Thomas.

I knew the woman.

Justice Charles Z. Smith & Eleanor Smith

Justice Charles Z. Smith was like my godfather.

His wife was like my godmother too.

She was my teacher at Meany Middle School.

Their children grew up around me and we all attended church together.

Judge Smith was not simply a famous judge to me.

He was part of my life.

He was my father’s friend and colleague.

Before he became a judge, he was my attorney.

When I later discovered my exhusband had never legally finalized his prior divorce, Judge Smith hired an attorney in California to help resolve the issue.

Then he remarried us at the Washington State Capitol with my girls present.

I remember him pulling me aside privately and telling me that because the marriage had not legally existed, I could choose to walk away.

He was quietly giving me an out.

But I asked him to make it official.

Years later, shortly before he passed away, I saw him and he no longer recognized me, but he smiled warmly and hugged me.

His wife hugged me tightly too.

They helped me through many seasons of life.

The Dorseys

The Dorseys were another influential family in my life.

William P. Dorsey was a minister and later President of Baugh Industrial Company.

His wife was warm and kind.

Their children grew up with me and were part of my church and childhood world.

When I became pregnant out of wedlock as a minister’s daughter, Maggie told me that if my parents ever put me out, I could live with them.

But my parents never put me out.

That offer mattered deeply though.

It told me I was still worthy of care.

The Dorseys were Mercer Island people, but what I remember most is not their influence but their care and kindness.

The Dorseys also introduced me to another world:

Mercer Island culture, tennis culture, professional circles, and quality living.

Steve Dorsey competed in tennis tournaments against my brother-in-laws Larry and David Sampson.

David later opened the Seattle Tennis Center where I worked as a teenager.

Black tennis and white tennis worlds intersected in my life.

Alois Boswell

Alois Boswell was another extraordinary woman in my life.

Elegant. Sophisticated. Intelligent.

She became the first African American woman to own her own State Farm Insurance Agency, something that was incredibly significant during that time period.

She worked in insurance and took me under her wing as a young woman.

She taught me style, quality, confidence, and how to recognize value.

Alois is why I love thrift stores.

She taught me how to shop for quality secondhand treasures.

We always wanted her to open her own upscale thrift boutique.

She and her husband lived in a huge seven-bedroom home on Mercer Island.

Her daughters became like family to me. One especially became my “Big Sister For Life.”

When Alois later developed cancer, I spent time with the family during her illness.

Then shortly afterward, my own mother suffered a cerebral bleed.

I spent months moving between two Seattle hospitals supporting both women.

Alois eventually passed away in hospice.

About a week later, my mother was placed in the exact same hospice room.

I remember panicking emotionally when I realized it.

But that room became part of both journeys.

Seattle History Was My Everyday Life

I did not realize as a child how unusual my upbringing was.

I grew up in Seattle’s Black community while also being exposed to:

judges

ministers

civil rights leaders

healthcare pioneers

executives

Mercer Island families

Nordstrom circles

artists

entrepreneurs

activists

My father worked with:

Lacy Steele from the NAACP

Edwin Pratt

the Dixon brothers from the Seattle Black Panthers

My parents had dinner with Edwin Pratt and his wife shortly before he was assassinated.

These were not stories from books.

These were people in our lives.

My Father’s Wisdom

My father taught me many things.

One lesson that stayed with me forever:

“Be careful of the women you have around your girls because they will influence how they see themselves as they mature.”

That lesson shaped how I viewed influence, womanhood, environment, and community.

He understood that children absorb:

energy

standards

behavior

self-worth

communication

what they see adults tolerate

And honestly, he was right.

Why I Am The Way I Am

Now I understand myself more clearly.

I was raised around:

high standards

integrity

accountability

community responsibility

educated people

leaders

strong women

civil rights history

activism

service

mentorship

So yes, it is difficult for me to lower my expectations sometimes.

Because this was my normal.

I now realize I was privileged in ways I did not fully understand while living through it.

Not because life was easy.

Life was not easy.

But because I had access to remarkable people who poured into me.

I have no regrets about how I was raised.

I was blessed.

And now I want my children and grandchildren to understand the village that helped shape me into the woman I became.

Love,

Lady Flava 🌻