How Do You Know If You’re a Good Fit?

Today I found myself searching Google trying to figure out how to know if you’re a good fit.

A good fit for a job.

A good fit for a relationship.

A good fit for a project.

A good fit for an organization.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that many of us spend our lives trying to fit ourselves into places that were never designed for us.

We take a job because we need a paycheck and then wonder why we are struggling to make it work.

We meet someone we are attracted to and never stop to discuss our values, goals, communication styles, or vision for life.

We agree to work on a project and discover that everyone involved sees the world differently, and we struggle to find common ground that moves the project forward.

We join an organization because it looks impressive on a resume, only to realize we don’t enjoy participating or contributing.

Sometimes the question isn’t whether something is good or bad.

Sometimes the question is whether it is a good fit.

A good fit doesn’t mean everything is easy.

A good fit means your values, strengths, goals, and purpose have enough alignment that you can contribute, grow, and find meaning in what you are doing.

As I have gotten older, I ask myself a different question.

Not:

“Can I do this?”

But:

“Why do I want to do this?”

What is my reason?

What is my purpose?

What am I hoping to gain?

And am I willing to give what this opportunity requires?

As I thought about this more, I realized that being a good fit often starts with understanding ourselves.

How do I think?

How do I learn?

How do I work?

What do I value?

What is my communication style?

What do I need to be successful?

What are my deal breakers?

Many of us enter jobs, relationships, projects, and organizations without ever taking the time to answer those questions honestly.

Then we find ourselves frustrated, exhausted, misunderstood, or trying to force something that was never aligned with who we are.

When we know ourselves, we make better decisions.

We ask better questions.

We recognize red flags sooner.

We understand what we can compromise on and what we cannot.

I have learned that being qualified and being a good fit are not always the same thing.

A person can be qualified for a job and still hate it.

A person can be attracted to someone and still be incompatible.

A person can join a project and not belong on that team.

A person can become a member of an organization and never truly engage.

Sometimes the issue isn’t that the opportunity is bad.

Sometimes the issue is that it isn’t a good fit for us.

The older I get, the more I realize that fit matters.

Not because life should always be easy, but because life becomes much harder when we continually place ourselves in situations that conflict with our values, communication style, needs, and purpose.

I think we enter into too many situations without really honestly thinking them through.

We focus on the title.

The paycheck.

The attraction.

The opportunity.

The prestige.

But we forget to ask whether it aligns with who we are.

The right fit often feels less like forcing and more like flowing.

The right fit allows you to show up as yourself.

The right fit allows you to contribute.

The right fit makes you want to participate rather than simply put your name on something.

Maybe before we ask whether we can fit into something, we should first spend more time understanding ourselves.

Because sometimes the answer isn’t found in the opportunity.

Sometimes the answer is found in knowing who we are.

🌻 Real Talk with Lady Flava 🌻