Wednesday Real Talk

Masking vs. Authenticity

I hope every one of us has the opportunity to meet our authentic self.

To discover our why.

To learn what we enjoy and what we don’t.

To figure out our own flava, our own style, our own vibe.

There is something incredibly freeing about becoming comfortable in your own skin.

For me, that has come with age.

The older I get, the less I feel the need to impress others and the more I appreciate simply being myself.

Now let’s talk about something that has become a popular topic over the past several years—masking.

As I listen to conversations today, masking or code-switching is often described as something negative. It usually refers to hiding parts of yourself in order to fit in or be accepted.

When I was growing up, I don’t remember hearing those words.

Instead, I was taught something a little different.

I was taught that different environments called for different behaviors.

You acted one way at church.

Another way at work.

Another way with your closest friends.

And another way at a formal event.

To me, that wasn’t pretending.

It was understanding the setting and showing respect for the people around you.

Even today, I still believe there is wisdom in adapting to different situations.

However…

I also understand something I didn’t fully appreciate when I was younger.

If you’re constantly hiding who you are because you’re afraid you won’t be accepted…

That can become exhausting.

It can leave you feeling disconnected from yourself.

I think there is a balance.

I believe we can remain authentic while also being respectful and adaptable.

I can still be kind without agreeing.

I can still be professional without losing my personality.

I can still adjust my communication depending on the situation without pretending to be someone I’m not.

To me, authenticity isn’t saying everything that comes to mind.

It’s allowing the heart of who you are to remain the same wherever you go.

That doesn’t mean we never adapt.

It simply means we don’t lose ourselves in the process.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized something beautiful.

The people who truly matter don’t expect me to become someone else.

They simply appreciate the person I’ve become.

Maybe that’s one of the greatest gifts of aging.

Learning that being yourself is enough.

Blessings,

Lady Flava 🌻