Parent or Elders in Your Life With Dementia

While living in Las Vegas, I worked in a rehabilitation hospital and also provided elder care for several patients and clients living with dementia.

This can be one of the most difficult experiences a family will ever face.

Many times, family members are witnessing changes in memory, personality, behavior, and communication, but they may not realize what is happening. Others may recognize the changes but struggle to accept them. It is common to see loved ones become frustrated and attempt to redirect, argue with, or even scold a parent who is forgetting things or behaving differently than they once did.

One of the most important lessons I learned is that dementia is not simply about memory loss. It affects how a person processes information, communicates, reasons, and experiences the world around them.

There are many wonderful resources available to help families understand what they are witnessing, what to call it, and how to respond in a supportive and respectful way.

Even in my current healthcare role, we occasionally speak with patients who are living with dementia. One thing remains true no matter where you encounter it:

Stay calm.

Keep information short, simple, and direct.

Trying to prove someone wrong or forcing them to remember something often creates anxiety, embarrassment, and frustration.

Instead of asking:

“Don’t you remember?”

Try saying:

“Let me help you with that.”

Instead of correcting their reality, focus on their feelings.

If they are worried, reassure them.

If they are confused, simplify.

If they are upset, redirect.

Dementia can also bring challenges such as wandering, confusion in the late afternoon or evening (often called sundowning), repeated questions, sleep disturbances, and increased anxiety. These behaviors are not intentional. They are symptoms of changes occurring within the brain.

If you begin noticing memory changes in a parent or loved one, encourage them to see their primary care provider. Some medical conditions, medication interactions, vitamin deficiencies, infections, and other health concerns can mimic dementia symptoms and should be evaluated.

It is also important to have conversations early about legal and financial planning, healthcare wishes, powers of attorney, and future care preferences while your loved one can still participate in those decisions.

Perhaps the most important thing I can share is this:

Treat the person with dignity.

They are still your mother.

They are still your father.

They are still your spouse, sibling, friend, or grandparent.

The disease may change how they communicate, but it does not change their value.

Not every elder will experience dementia, but understanding it before you need to can help you respond with compassion instead of fear.

Knowledge helps us become better caregivers, better family members, and better advocates for the people we love.

Lady Flava Wellness 🌻