Monday H&W with Lady Flava

The last couple of weeks I felt hopeful.

I was excited about starting physical therapy with a new approach to movement and strengthening. I liked the structure. I liked the encouragement from the PT app reminding me to do my homework. It made me feel like I was actively working toward something meaningful again.

Then my body shifted.

Instead of feeling stronger, I started struggling more.

Pain increased.
Walking became harder.
Even bladder issues started becoming part of my day.

Things I was able to do before suddenly became difficult. Simple things now require planning, effort, or recovery afterward.

That’s the part people don’t always understand about chronic pain or mobility issues. Sometimes the body changes slowly over time… and sometimes it feels like it all hits at once.

I stopped doing my PT homework because I became afraid of triggering that level of pain again now that things have calmed down some.

And then comes the guilt.

Am I slowing down healing?
Am I giving up too quickly?
Should I push through the pain?
Or is my body trying to tell me something important?

I honestly don’t know.

I made an appointment with my primary physician and my physical therapist sent an evaluation to my physiatrist. I believe in my doctors and my physical therapists. I know they are trying to help me.

But right now, I’m struggling emotionally with the waiting, the uncertainty, the appointments, the testing, and trying to understand what is actually happening inside my body.

I believe the physical therapy may have irritated my hip arthritis. I also accept that hip replacement surgery on my right side is probably part of my future.

That realization doesn’t scare me as much as the “in-between” stage does.

The waiting.
The wondering.
The trying to function while searching for answers.

Honestly, I would be cool with hip replacement surgery happening this week if it meant moving toward a better quality of life. But healthcare doesn’t move that quickly or neatly.

So for now, I’m sitting in a place I think many people quietly understand:

Wanting answers.
Wanting relief.
Wanting realistic direction.
And feeling discouraged when your body doesn’t respond the way you hoped it would.

Have you ever felt at a loss trying to figure out what the next step should be?

Today, I’m just being honest about where I am.

Lady Flava