Sunday Real Talk

What Kind of Communicator Are You?

I’ve been sitting with this one for a minute.

Not just thinking about other people…

but really turning the mirror back on myself.

Because for a long time, I believed I was a strong communicator.

Clear. Direct. Respectful. I listen, I respond, I explain.

That’s how I was raised.

I come from a place where communication had structure.

There was a way you spoke to people.

A way you carried yourself.

A way you made sure you were understood—without being disrespectful.

So that became my baseline.

Then life did what life does…

it put me in a completely different environment.

When I moved to Las Vegas, something shifted.

Same language… but it didn’t feel the same.

I found myself in conversations where I was being clear—but still not being understood.

Where I was listening—but still missing something.

Where the way I communicated… didn’t always land.

That was a wake-up call.

Because it made me realize something I had never really thought about before:

Communication is not one-size-fits-all.

Where you’re raised… how you’re raised… what you’re exposed to…

it all shapes how you speak, how you listen, and how you process what’s being said to you.

And then life added another layer.

I found myself in a relationship with someone on the autism spectrum.

At first, I’ll be honest—it was frustrating.

Not because either of us were wrong…

but because we were wired differently.

What felt clear to me… didn’t always register the same way for them.

What felt logical to them… didn’t always feel natural to me.

That experience pushed me to learn.

I started paying attention.

I got involved with groups like Autism Speaks and support groups for Neurotypical and Neurodivergent relationships.

I listened more. I observed more.

And what I came to understand changed everything:

Some communication challenges aren’t about effort… they’re about wiring.

Now?

I’m hyper-aware.

I notice tone.

I notice patterns.

I notice when someone is direct… or avoidant… or emotional… or purely logical.

And more importantly…

I’ve learned to adjust.

But let me keep it real—

that doesn’t mean it’s always easy.

What Works For Me

I communicate best when:

People are clear and direct

There’s mutual respect

There’s a balance of honesty and awareness

Conversations feel like a two-way street

I don’t need perfection.

But I do need effort.

What Challenges Me

I struggle when:

People are vague or don’t say what they really mean

Communication feels passive or indirect

I have to keep guessing instead of understanding

I’m the only one adjusting in the conversation

That’s where I feel the disconnect the most.

Not because I don’t understand communication…

But because I care about it.

So Let Me Ask You…

What kind of communicator are you?

Not what you think you are…

but how you actually show up in conversations.

Because this is something we don’t really stop and think about.

We just talk.

We react.

We assume we’re being understood.

But are we?

Common Communication Styles

See where you recognize yourself:

Assertive – Clear, direct, and respectful. Says what needs to be said without tearing others down.

Passive – Holds back, avoids conflict, often lets others take the lead.

Aggressive – Dominates, interrupts, pushes opinions without regard for others.

Passive-Aggressive – Doesn’t say things directly, but shows frustration through tone, sarcasm, or actions.

Empathetic – Leads with understanding, listens deeply, values emotional connection.

Analytical – Focuses on logic, facts, and details over feelings.

Charismatic – Engaging, expressive, and influential in how they communicate.

Most of us aren’t just one.

We’re a mix.

And depending on the situation…

we shift.

Real Talk

Communication isn’t just about speaking.

It’s about:

Being understood

Understanding others

And knowing when to adjust… and when to stand firm

Because you can be saying all the right words…

and still be missing each other completely.

Closing Thought

Pay attention to how you communicate.

Pay attention to what works…

and what doesn’t.

Because once you become aware of it…

You don’t just have conversations anymore—

you move differently in every room you walk into.

Real Talk with Lady Flava 🌻

Dear Flava 💌

This conversation doesn’t end here… it starts with you.

What kind of communicator are you?

What works for you… and what challenges you?

I want to hear your story—your real experiences, not the polished version.

You can respond in the comments on this blog…

or if you want a more personal space, send me an email:

dearflava@gmail.com

Your voice matters here.

Your perspective matters here.

Let’s grow, learn, and understand each other—together.

—Lady Flava 🌻