Self-Love as a Healing Practice, Not a Personality Trait

Some mornings don’t start with motivation.

They start with a body that needs warmth, a quiet room, and a cup of hot tea held with intention.

This morning, I listened to Louise Hay, and she was talking about self-love and healing yourself. Not the flashy kind of self-love. Not the social-media version. The kind that asks you to slow down and actually listen.

And it landed differently this time.

Because self-love isn’t a personality trait.

It’s not something you either “have” or don’t.

It’s not optimism, cheerfulness, or always seeing the bright side.

Self-love is a practice.

It’s what you do when your body hurts and the weather shifts and you choose warmth instead of pushing through. It’s working from home when you can because your nervous system needs calm. It’s accepting that healing doesn’t follow a straight line — and neither does life.

For years, I thought self-love meant doing more. Trying harder. Being stronger. But chronic pain has a way of teaching you otherwise. Pain humbles you. It slows you down. It forces you to ask better questions, like What does my body need today? instead of What should I be able to handle?

That’s where healing actually begins.

Healing doesn’t always look like progress.

Sometimes it looks like rest.

Sometimes it looks like saying no.

Sometimes it looks like letting go of guilt when you listen to your body instead of your expectations.

Self-love as a healing practice is gentle, but it’s not weak. It takes courage to stop fighting yourself. It takes strength to replace self-criticism with compassion. And it takes wisdom to understand that your body is not the enemy — it’s the messenger.

Louise Hay often spoke about the way we talk to ourselves. I believe that conversation matters even more as we age, as we carry injuries, loss, and lived experience. The body remembers everything. So do our words.

This Sunday, I want to offer a reminder — to you and to myself:

You don’t have to be self-loving.

You just have to practice it.

One choice at a time.

One warm moment at a time.

One act of listening instead of forcing.

Healing doesn’t ask for perfection.

It asks for presence.

And today, that’s enough. 🌻